Friends are family we choose; but not always

Research says, as per hierarchy, what we see at the bottom of all relationships is friendship. But with times, this study shows no truth. In fact, friends, and the term friendship with growing times has been able to affirm a strong place in all of our lives. What we don’t  tell to our parents, and siblings or at times the lover, but share with somebody else is a friend. Often, the gateway into friendship is two people sharing a common interest.  Delving deep - whether its like- you want light when its burning low, want the sun when its snow, or hate the roads when you miss home- to solve all your problems be it the silliest, and come to your immediate rescue is a dear friend. No matter what, friends at times, can be ‘ an apple of gold in a picture of silver.’

But is it always the same scene?? Its quite understandable that with time, relationships tend to fade away, with all getting busy in their day-day-day schedule. Alas!! Shouldn’t  be the case. In contrary, what hits ithe most is what are the  hallmarks of a good friendship??. Is it staying loyal to each other, encourage or cheer, or just spare a few minutes to listen. Yes, just listen. Lucky are those, who have listener in their lives. All you need at times is a listener.

They say, even  the best of friends make the worst enemies. Bitter but fact, it is of modern times. Opposition of any kind can make life miserable but opposition of a particular kind multiplies the misery. Too often, those we let near us in love leverage precious trust to serve themselves at our expense -just to betray us. In my most direful times  what I needed was my dear of dearest friends to show up, encourage me and tell me straight that whatever the matter, we are with you. As they say, these thoughts are just confined to books and words, same was mine. Those promises of a dear friend, made in culvert adda's, last bench of a classroom, more just over sharing a same bottle of coke all found to be erased in vain. When needed the most, a very few turned up. Guess what, irony is who were just friends were always by my side. 

As the saying goes, you grow more wiser when you grow old, or may be the other way,  you may recognize your friends when in despair. Nevertheless, friendship in order to run long, like any other relationship needs respect. Make sure the promise and respect fuel in our relationship runs till last breathe – healing very wounds and sharing the utmost joy.

People live, When people give

Being born as a human; what all try to discover is ‘satisfaction.’ Not once or twice but throughout everyday lives. Regardless of varied situations or life-changing instances, the quest for genuine satisfaction is at the core aspect of every individual’s life goals. But to attain that level of satisfaction differs from individual to individual. For some, it may be by gathering valuable yet expensive gadgets or commodities, to some experiencing a dauntless adventure, and to some might be setting their footprints in the world of business. And, to some rare yet kind souls, satisfaction is all about giving back to the society we live in.

The gift of giving is indeed a wonderful feeling in itself. In fact, it calls for a happy moment when a smile is sparkled on the face of a loved or a needy one. And, when we say gift, it doesn’t mean only materialistic in nature. It can be in monetary, food, or clothes.  But for some is helping people who need immediate medical help at the time of health distress at anytime, anywhere. While mentioning the list of emergency medical needs, the first thing that hits our mind is ‘Blood.’ And, finding quality and right blood group-matched blood is not easy. To mitigate such issues and aid people during a health emergency, many noble souls have come forward.

One such is Chennai based ‘Platelet Club,’ an NGO working day in and day out to save lives of thousands across the nation. Today, the club is recognised to be one of the most empathetic groups of blood and platelet donors who are whole-heartedly dedicated to saving lives. Driven by the motto “Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more,” the club is committed to helping all those who knock their doors.

Srivatsa Vema handing over masks to Police officers during COVID-19 crisis

What started in the year 2007 by Srivatsa Vema to initially help a few numbers of patients that required blood, the club today has grown much beyond just being a blood donor club. In no sooner time, in the year 2017, after a decade of this foundation, it eventually formed ‘Platelet Club.’ The founding idea was to help patients who are looking for platelets. Platelets, in general, are small colourless disc-shaped cell fragment without a nucleus, found in large numbers in blood and involved in clotting. They are primarily essential for those fighting cancer, disease, and traumatic injuries. Unlike whole blood, platelets, on the other hand, have a shelf life of only 5 days, so there is a constant need for donors. Platelet donation procedure is completely safe with minimal to no side effects.  The platelet donation procedure usually takes 45 minutes to 60 minutes and may slightly vary depending on your height and weight.

With the passage of time, this group has found some attention and is being supported by many volunteers across the nation. Not only men, but a huge section from the women community have also stepped ahead for the noble cause. Keeping aside all the challenges and stigmas, women have started to contribute, but educating everyone on the pros and cons of donating would lead to a bigger turn up.  Presently, it has its own verification team whose responsibility is to:

• Collect basic details, 
• Find out whether the need is Emergency or replacement, 
• Cross-check if the patient is a resident or had come for treatment purposes.   

Team of 4, namely Kavitha, NithyaNadha, Vineeth, and Durga Devi, are vital members of the verification team. Along with them, the club is highly supported by Ashok Kumar, Muniraj, Janarthan, RaghuRam, and Mahadevan. Not only restricted to offline social presence, but the club is also highly active through online mode, i.e., Vineeth Manimaran, who is engaged in creating informative memes on the group’s Facebook page.

To conclude, let’s end with an open-ended question. Have you ever donated blood, platelets, or WBC? If yes, I am pretty sure you have made a note of the number of times you've done so. But what if I tell you, that you'll run short of pages in notepad if you are Duraisamy Karuppiah, Rohith Fernandes, Poorna Chandran or Sridhar Onkar. Why? Because these are the names of those unsung heroes who have saved more than 450+ lives among them. They are the members of the elite “Centurion Donors” club. What this means is, they have each donated more than 100 times  (150 in case of Duraisamy), which is a superhuman feat, and I don’t think they will stop donating anytime soon. 

In years to come, the Platelet Club aims to promote awareness among people more on niche health issues and mitigate them by bridging the gap between the needy and the donor. Thus, being an extended arm for the health and welfare of society in general.

Personality begins where Comparison Ends

No wonder, life at one point or the other is all about comparison. And, when it comes to comparison, it has no boundaries. His car, her looks, their marriage and children, and rest, we all fall in the trap of comparison. In a nutshell, comparing ourselves to others. Once Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the US, said, "Comparison is the thief of Joy." With times, the word 'comparison' has become so popular amongst parents. Not lesser than a fact, in present times, it is deeply rooted in every individual parent's mindset. It is inculcated so deep that they want their kid to excel in everything. Without little knowledge to even trying to understand them. 

Every individual is born different, and their struggles are different. The high and lows, ups, and downs differ from human to human. Some might have a splendid childhood and for some the terrible ones. While growing up, for some, it might to quite easy to deal with new changing phases, but for another, it might turn out to be miserable and the worst memories ever. Remember, coping up with the situations and circumstances of life comes in play with thought-process. One can expect to mitigate rather than keeping high hopes of accomplishing them at the earliest possible time.

Benchmarks set-up in life is essential. As they allow us to determine our strength, weaknesses, and developmental milestones. But things go wrong when instead of observing an individual's growth and progress, and be an extended arm if required, parents often compare their child to their siblings or with another for being different. For instance, look at Sharma Ji's son; he is excellent in whatever he does. As he writes faster, he plays excellent music, scores high in exams, and so on. (Uff!! Being ideally honest, the list of comparing never ends).

In the rat-race of making the child excellent in all and everything, remember you can end up in making them 'Jack of all trades but master of none.' It's wise not to compare as the risk of identifying their uniqueness is high. The child might pose different skills, interests, personality traits, and abilities, which  will make them who they actually want. By continually comparing them would lead to anxiety and stress in them and might turn out to be vulnerable. Instead of being selfish, recognise, and celebrate the inherent strengths. Encourage them to pursue their interest and work towards achieving in holistic development and help them be a better human.

Unfortunately, comparisons are deeply entrenched in our society. Right from neighbors to close relatives, the child is invariably compared with others. All these tiny and unnoticeable parts of life might make them disappointed and disillusioned. 

The Effects of Stress on Your Body

In today’s dynamic world, the competition to stay at the forefront is always the need of the hour. But delving deep to clinch the sweet spot of success, it takes a lot-be it mental or physical peace. As a matter of fact, while most of us are aware of what it feels to be overwhelmed with the pressure needed to cope up with, at the same time, is quite unusual to identify what stress is. As per the standard definition, stress is our body’s response to pressure that can arise from situations or life events. It is believed to occur when experiencing something new or unexpected or having a feeling of little control over a situation. In fact, stress can be nerve-racking or intense. Even though stress is not considered to be a mental health problem but encountering acute stress for a long period can be chronic and can impact both physically and psychologically.

Physical Stress: The impact of long-term stress differs enormously from person-to-person. Stress can have far-reaching consequences if left unmanaged. Mostly, impacting physical health. Such as sleep apnea, disturbing thought-process, poor appetite, being hyperactive or oversensitive, and the list goes on and on. Moreover, stress can affect the body’s gastrointestinal system causing irritable bowel syndrome and stomach ulcers. In most cases, chronic stress affects the immune system making it difficult to fight off infections. Furthermore, if the issue of stress is prolonged, it can shoot up severe diseases like cardiovascular, diabetes, high blood pressure, and nerve disorders.

Psychological Stress: Many research studies unsurprisingly suggests that stress can have a negative impact on mental health. Psychosocial factors like stressful living environment or working conditions are considered to be the reasons for it. Eventually, leading to further developing issues of depression and anxiety. The experience of stressful events is also associated with depressive symptoms, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm.

Other factors: Other factors that can directly lead to stress are financial, technology and social media, and more. While personal debt is regarded to be a well-recognised risk to develop stress, at the same time, over usage of technology and social media may also contribute to digital stress.

The Art of Balancing your Strength and Weakness

Imagine, this is a perfect world, and you are exceptionally good at everything you do. Meaning - definitely living a great life. Now, come back to reality. In this imperfect world, you at times will have to deal with things, and in some, you will be good at, okayish in a few, and straight suck at, in many. At times, it turns out to be really exasperating because everyone wants to stay ahead in the rat race. As a matter of fact, to snatch the sweet spot, one has to believe in oneself and keep on juggling between the strength and weakness’s pendulum.

Remember, you are not only the one. There are thousands out there that share similar issues like yours. Every individual on this planet poses their own set of challenges, strengths and weaknesses. To some a little off late, but to many may be since birthhood. For instance - some may be a slow learner while the other a quick one, some bearing with an incurable disease or some still figuring out the purpose of life. Lesser known to many, every one with a filthy lifestyle carries at least a small part of sorrow with them. And, that sorrow eventually dives deep in them, making it one of the most vital weaknesses. Creating an ideal image of oneself is not a new story, in fact, a common thing in all. But shattering of dreams and being able to handle them is not everyone’s cup of tea!!  Often , we tend to be blind-folded by seeing only the flaws, and not the beauty within them. Flaws are not bad all the time but are attained right since the state of birthhood. Embracing them rather than crying on the spilled milk will make one stronger and more victorious than accepting the defeat easily.

One hurdle that underlies is the self-art of recognizing our own strengths and weakness. To understand them, learn the art of accepting and then empower and encourage to find out your existence and importance. Nevertheless, this kind of belief will not only shape the thought-process, rather change your opinion on the everyday world.

Not everything is served, rightly. All have to juggle to get it. The mantra to success is discovering the weakness and try hard to eradicate them. Instead of looking at them as flaws, embrace, and build upon them. All the weaknesses that got you to this point in life may no longer remain as weakness further.

Remember, we can’t change what we were born with but undeniably can change how we perform. Spending all energy on thinking what good can happen, its better investing in practicing them. More energy and time vested on positivity is a better outcome, certainly - the evolution of mind and human, both!!

How to make important life decisions

If you are not living under the rock, then you are definitely not unfamiliar about ‘The World’s Richest Techie - Bill Gates, Oprah Winfray - an eminent television host, Jim Carrey, the great comedian, and  J.K. Rowling, the best selling author of the children’s bible, The Harry Potter. To many of us, we know their success. But, their pain?? Less bothered, right? For many, it’s about believing that they were been born at the right time and with all good luck. No!! In fact, what kept them sailing in their dream journey is so common as to layman all around the globe. And that’s ‘Problem.’ Fun fact- they tackled them off, swiftly and happily. Because they better knew their end-goals and reached them fighting all the odd-obstacles way out.

No wonder, life’s journey is all about ups and downs, and highs and lows. Money, career, health, education has its own set of problems in each phase of life. Problems are inevitable and really excruciating. Some’s occurrence may be knee-dip and some not so really but what is joyous is siding them off slowly and steadily.  All required is - ‘Right skill, and better decision-making process to tackle them off effectively.’ Learning to handle life's problems effectively is an essential skill that can have a drastic effect on your health and happiness. Building solid problem-solving strategies and coping skills can help you manage when life throws its punches.

Problems are inevitable. The day an individual lands on this planet, come with problems too. And growing up, some of them turn to be too intense and long-lasting, and some lasts only for a day or less, may be. But, of late, they do not exist!! Rather than panicking, lay back, think, analyse and make smart decision to swiftly set them away. It’s all about smart-decision making, and a little input of knowledge, wisdom and conscience.

Every moment of life is a moment of decision. And, tiny steps toward them will definitely reap the great result. Being anxious at facing problems is not the right thing to do, in fact, how to deal and make it life-long solution and for everyone’s benefit is. Making the mind, a war battleground doesn’t make any sense. Because faster solutions often lead to hasty decision making, which eventually becomes an ill threat.

Seeking guidance from somebody is absolutely ok, but have they put themselves on your shoes that you can be assured off?? Being intellectual here, and using your intellect will work, then jumping here and there with it. Be selfless enough to make decisions and ensure that you are right.  You may be wrong at times but remember this are tiny steps of imposing wisdom and faith in oneself. Not being a people-pleaser is what everyone looks for in another person. And, fighting the set of problems, without any expectations will largely make you happier and more modest, then always trying to create a win-win situation.

Do dream enough to keep your future safe and secured, but with strong founding stones. Least said one could imagine what can happen, alas! cannot be certain about it. Have a heart of gold and fight all odds - is a true principle in human life, but while climbing the ladder success, do not be selfish enough to know your own existence and self-worth. Remember, its all-about your process that will set an example, not your tough days.

Harness the Power of not Revealing Much : Secrets

Ever wondered, what can be the greatest secret of a human?? Wealth, Love, or what on the list??  It may sound very cliché, but above all these uncountable reasons, the one that turns everyone’s head around is ‘Keeping Secrets.’ It’s so simple yet complicated. And, that is keeping one’s secrets to oneself. Someone rightly quoted, “Don’t let anyone, not even your soul know your secrets.” A little absurd, but again, its undeniable that it is the strongest truth one can possess for a lifetime.

In a world where everyday millions of people wrestle with striking a so-called-perfect-life-balance, all seek for secret ingredients to stay in the rat race. And, your secrets, here come into play because it cannot be served way too easily on somebody else’s plate - Because its life recipe, not a food recipe.

A simple way to harness power is to keep a secret. This tendency is often deemed to be covert, used across time and space, in the universe, in myth, and in reality, in politics and in romance. For instance, the highly-acclaimed Hollywood animated film, Kung Fu Panda, tells us a secret scroll that contains the mysteries of life - somewhat similar to your own-preferred secret coffee cup. This secret eventually inspires the heroes and villains to look for it and open the scroll to read it - only to fine that there is no secret. Power, herein, comes from the notion of secrecy rather than the actual content. Thus, following the secret art of keeping things secret, and not revealing them to anyone, be it best of friends or foe, we grab power to ourselves.  Nevertheless, power is used in different ways; people who fall in love tend to not share their lover’s details with others and, in that secrecy, they enjoy a sense of delight and security.

The secret to success, I personally believe should be confined to oneself. You may hear stories or have self-experienced that people often have clinched the sweet spot of success by mimicking people or stealing other’s ideas. Is it right?? Is it necessary to jump to that extent and start losing trust on own confidence?? Lets time travel. In school definitely, there might be a copycat, who will somehow manage to copy all answers, and still, take the credit on doing on their best, and not accepting the fact that it is wrong. It turns as an intrinsic value and sticks like a glue for a lifetime. That’s where the irony of life lies. There are a lot of people in high places who probably aren’t “deserving” of their position. Aren’t smart enough or lag massively in the experience part. But have made it anyway. Most clearly, of unethical favours. They played a different game in their head - and, that’s of copying another’s idea.

Man, himself has made life so complicated. The sole idea of making things difficult right from the thought-process to executing them, itself tells about how fearful they are to take up a definite step and go through all toil and hard work.  Life is all about defeat and victory. Better were those childhood days, when you actually believed in the spider and the web story, again as growing up, most of us forget the moral. Life has never given anyone the key to shortcut success; indeed, it helped them largely on figuring out on their own worth.

Amidst the swinging branch of defeat and victory, one should know the ‘key to acceptance.’ Acceptance is always at the forefront of being happy. It doesn’t mean to express joy on counterparts’ defeat, instead of on accepting their own’s failures at times too. In layman’s language - ‘ No one can relieve their life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile.’ And, make the unbelievable, the believable. Like the Banyan seed, which is way much smaller than a mustard seed. But when it grows, it is the biggest of all.  In fact, learn to be Wiser, grow Wiser, and spread Wisdom until you make the last breath.

In the walk of life, eradicate greediness, and encourage others to grow as well. Strange to hear, but it is the cue to immortality. Anything that is more complex in the world is the human body itself. No wonder, that’s why we have one tongue and rest 5 senses as two. Because it can slip anywhere, anytime, and be a problem-enhancer, not a solver. So, be cautious in making use of the sixth sense by using it where required, and not be a living mechanism of speech destruction or hatred speech.

                                         

Technological Advancements: A Blessing or a Curse?

No wonder, in a short span, technology has taken leap and bounds, making itself  an inevitable part of human life. Right from placing grocery needs online to feeding oneself , booking tickets online to commuting - everything, today takes place in  just a ‘click of a button.’ In fact, in just a fraction of a few seconds. The launch of the world wide web has made life easy like never before. And the world with no boundaries. In other words, technology has made the unbelievable, not so distant past things.

• But with the huge quantum leap of technology to future, aren’t we forgetting the analogue past that made us what we are today. How it has turned the globe all upside-down?? Not unknown to many, Francine Cefola, Co-author of the book ‘Tell It To The Future,’ once quoted- “There’s a great saying that if we don’t know where we come from, how can we know where we are going??”. Those days when one pretended to be the coolest by holding a Sony Walkman or writing a letter to a pen friend or a dear one and figuring out how the giant world looked so tiny in an atlas! was indeed a thrilling affair.

Today, its all about two ‘I’s - ‘Invention & Innovation.’ Hand-written letters are taken over by mails and digital texts; top-up cards are now digital wallets, tuition centres are education apps, downloading movies/music to streaming movies/music online - all took curvy roads - claiming an innovative world.

With the passage of time, technology has taken a huge control over our lives. And, a new product and a newer version of the existing product is nothing exciting anymore. It has merely become a general thing. It could be a blessing for the new generation but at the same time, it could be a not-so-likeable factor for many-especially, a generation of the 90s or before that. Being a 90s kid, I personally believe that it was the best of the era we lived in because the term ‘technology’ was just a jargon. Those five-stoned games(commonly known as gutte), Antakshari for quick-memory minds, Chuppan Chupai AKA hide-n-seek, gully cricket, football with pomelo fruit and list which is unaccountable not only brewed a fresh bonding among friends but with time, making it even stronger(Trust me, I still have those gully friends as my adulthood partners. Chuckles!!)

My past memoirs not only make me ponder upon the fast-moving advancements but indeed make me go back to the point when a young girl who answered the Missile Man’s vision of a New India, which reflects in his book ‘India 2020: A Vision for the New Millennium” - a developed India. Reflecting on Kalam’s word, what keeps me hitting my head hard is that ‘Is technologically advanced India, a developed India? Is it only limited to  infrastructure, technology, and economy, and not the overall human and societal development?

From all the above-mentioned factors, I firmly believe that happiness lies in being minimalistic, not maximalist. And, that seed is needed to be sown right from childhood.  Today’s kids are more engrossed in mobile phones and are unaware of the practical world. The fear of losing the first place, in any event, be it academic or extra-curricular, has made their life so mundane that - all they believe is in the virtual world. With the advent of Smart Phones, and Smart games taking the forefront, life seems to be more of an artificial kind, thus, fading away from the social touch gradually. Living in thatched roofs than concrete jungles would teach values and add more to life rather than making one vulnerable and competitive in no matter what.

Before Robot Butlers, Flying Cars to Exoskeleton Suits covers the entire universe; it’s important to live in the moment and grow by observing things, not directly grasping to experience them. It’s now time to understand that the essence of living lies in small happiness. In present times, modern parents should understand and culminate among kids the knowledge of sharing, joy, and happiness.  Allowing them to play in the mud, reducing the usage of digital apps to learn each and everything to speaking their native language will not kill their curiosity; in fact, it will enhance them to learn more and more about the moving world.

To conclude, technology is best when it brings people together, and definitely not by exceeding humanity. Furthermore, it should not make humans think about how powerful they can be.

                                                                                 

In Pursuit of Happiness

Being a twenty four year old boy, I am trying to find out the sweetest time of my life. Are the beautiful days of my life are left behind or coming ahead? But as of now, it becomes difficult for each and every of my age or an adult to identify the part. Is the life I have left behind spent with my young parents, friends of my age, playing across the village the whole evening, bunking classes in school and college, etc. Or the life ahead with the old aged parents, responsibilities of the work, family, achievements, etc.

Every emotional person can understand from his experiences that past is always beautiful. In reality, whether this was beautiful or not is not notable. But in people’s mind, it is thought to be beautiful. How the dirty water becomes pure after filtration process, in the same way due to the distance of time difference, all suffering miseries were removed from all the past life experiences by refining process humans have in their mind its good sweet experience. So, the past is not just a sequence of time, it is a constant copy of a thought. If someone starts to worry about the sweet times or experiences of his life during his free time, it is not strange or unusual that many small experiences of the past may begin to overwhelm him. Many of his past  life experiences or many experiences shine in his heart, not because it really means that time and experience are part of that very mysterious past today- that past which has no existence, that past which is untouchable, that past which cannot be found again. An old man’s childhood is located in a distant past, so for him childhood memories are very sweet. But, a child thinks that the door to a future dream is always bright.

Sometimes, I try to think what were the sweetest moments and experiences of my life. From the observation, I have found that a person is alive to receive only a few happy events in life. Otherwise the rest of the life is nothing more than just living and spending the rest of the days. Also, it is true that many people don’t even know when these wonderful moments come and go. This is one of the most painful tragedies of most people’s lives. Disregarding the happiness that are found and chasing after the unfulfilled happiness the life of a person comes to an end.

So, it is very difficult for each and everyone to find the sweetest moment of his life. It is the old one who has no chance of having sweetest moment in future but has innumerable sweet memories left behind in his past. So, try to make each and every moment of your life happy and don’t chase after what you don’t have in your life. Make numerous sweet moments so that you can have a wonderful past memories in your old age.